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May 31st, 2009 |

Why Tiger Woods scandal says more about us than about him?

Imagine for a moment that you are editor in chief of your newspaper local. Where to put the Tiger stories?

It started as a Crime blotter item, one of the morning on a suspicious car accident. At the end of Bretton compensated only fined $ 164 and a maximum of four points on his driving record.

It's a story for Sports, as Woods is an athlete more famous the world, and a history of sex and celebrity, so no doubt belongs to the People page. It is also a history of business due to the impact indiscretions Tiger will have on their sponsorship contracts, and their absence will have on television ratings, attendance of the tournament and the sport itself.

About the only thing is missing is an equalizer in the time-but for now you can not argue that it is the perfect storm of a story. It is a story both familiar (Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, Eliot Spitzer) and only – rarely has the public perception of a man so completely at odds with reality.

It cuts across demographics, hitting the angle of the celebrity to the women and the angle of sports for men and giving fodder to both sides in the battle of the sexes is now played on a board again Internet message near you.

The story of resonance for children who have most benefited from the philanthropy of Woods, especially those have visited his learning center of the same name in Anaheim, Calif. What is to make forests and their interdisciplinary studies? (A copy of the out-of-print "Get a Grip on Physics" by John Gribbin was found behind the seat of the car by Tiger, shards of glass on its cover.)

Is it time to push Johnny in the direction of a new hero?

A story like this, of course, ends in A1, where it has been almost every day since the beginning Woods Black Friday for driving his truck into a fire hydrant and a tree. It has been sent to New York, the headline writers at the edge of the Post-hazardous 80-point delirium.

But the more I think about the plots and subplots, most begin to realize the series, says more about us than about Woods.

The Gutter Twins Start with simple curiosity of old creepy, the kind that moves on the lines of the supermarket tabloids, and her companion lowest common denominator, schadenfreude.

Meryl Streep once said in a speech: "You said that real life is not like college, and has been adequately informed. Life is more like real high school. "

Woods was our best chance of success, bigger and Homecoming King Jock. But his fall has played out like a John Hughes movie where the athlete is to be like the rest of us, while the nerds look with fun.

We are all in this movie, Anthony Michael Hall.

We also, on some level, 4 years old again. We like to kick sand castles, the most elaborate of the best for the simple reason that it's interesting to see fall. (Thus, the impetus for the second season of "Human Wrecking Balls," watermelon timeless gag Destructo Mondo Gallagher and other pop-culture pap.)

We love to catch a cheater, or a "Cheetah" as the Post calls Woods, and the bust of a myth. Woods was aware of these things. His public image carefully has cratered so quickly and dramatically that its representative for correct decision making, trumpeted by the consultant Accenture (the first Bretton-sponsor of the bail), was immediately exposed as a sham.

What is more, the issue of Tiger has changed our concept of happiness itself, reminding every so tired aphorism, but along the "money can not buy happiness" of the spectrum, beginning with, "He who has everything wants soon want nothing that is."

Tiger had millions in the bank, a Swedish bikini team wife, a pair of adorable children (2 years old Sam, 10-month-old Charlie), the adulation of millions, a labradoodle (Yogi) and a border collie (Taz), holiday homes, a yacht – and still not enough.

It was apparently a lost, lonely man in search of happiness in all the wrong places. (Or, if you believe that men only seek to dominate other men, and to detonate his biological imperative throughout, and to overcome "Over the Top Benedicts" Breakfast at Perkins, which was a very happy man. Talk amongst yourselves.)

Tiger Woods was voted athlete of the decade by the Associated Press on Wednesday, and he deserves to stay another award an enigma. I do not know Tiger very well, but it seems likely we will get to know him better soon. Oprah or someone like her will be central to negotiate an introduction second better than the first.

This tiger is more human, less comic hero. It may or may not be married, but is defective and for the first time, relatable. That's a good thing, after the impenetrable facade, built by the Tiger and the IMG and money to see for many, sports drinks and video game makers of the last 13 years.

We like to be defective, always, because although they have been exposed as bystanders and the relationship know-it-alls, we are still, Most of all, about forgiveness and second acts. We love the renewal, rebirth, a unique fixer upper opportunity.

Come back, Tigre. We are dying to meet you.

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