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Boise Gutter

March 27th, 2010 |

Please read the first lines of my story ….?

.. and tell me if this is a very interesting opening. Soon we will shift to the entry my main character. thanks. Tuesday was a brisk morning and rainy in downtown Boise, cars stuck in peak early to work and the neon lights "open" in lights flickering in every store. Pedestrians ran through the rain with their umbrellas agape, and running water flow makes its way from dark trails on the river, as the gutters. ok, thanks. I need a lot of pointers to consider this is my first novel. I'll make changes.

Run your statements about. Consider breaking up. Moreover, the first sentence gives the impression it is raining a lot and yet the second sentence, the flame drizzling.Also the word Agape is a kind of ten-dollar word there. I do not think it necessary. By type of removed from the simplicity of others. Pax – C

Some Inland Skimboarding from Boise, ID